The Figures Under the Moonlight
By Hashim Sohail

April 30th 2008
Her eyes sparkled like a thousand diamonds, her face glowed, more luminous than the brightest ray of hope. Her hair lay to the side, untidy. Perfection was the epitome of that moment. The moon was shining through my bedroom window, the lights were off, and I could hear her breathing heavily, with each sigh her warm breath rose to meet mine. As I kissed her neck softly, I moved my hand towards her breasts, we were both naked.
“Are you sure you wanna do this?” I heard myself whisper.
She nodded, looking into my eyes.
I grabbed her by the waist.
I had no inclination to what was happening. A million thoughts caressed my mind. Insecurity and inferiority wavered upon me.
I heard her moan softly.
I could feel the warmth spread to my fingertips. I kissed her rosy lips as we made love. The thrusting motion was discomforting her, I could tell.
“Does it hurt?” I asked softly
I didn't hear a reply. I assumed it did.

All of sudden it happened, without warning the moment flooded our bodies, entwining them into one being, with a rush so powerful that it’s echo reverberated throughout our lives, the moment hovered above us and remained for much more than a moment. And sound stopped and movement stopped for much, much more than a moment. And in that moment the rest of our life flashed before us, we knew, that everything would change, without knowing, we knew, and as this moment surrounded us, all thoughts ceased to exist. We were immersed in an ocean of pleasure. And then as quickly as it had come, the moment was gone, left to rot in the silent memory of existence

Those 2 words that she spoke sent me into a spiraling whirlwind, my brain became numb, and my mouth felt dry, life as I knew it had dispersed into nothingness.
Her voice was still ringing in my ears
" I'm Pregnant”, her words carved their way into my being,
my pulse quickened, knees trembled.
I could say nothing, feel nothing ... be nothing.
As if a heavy weight had been cast upon my shoulder, I felt helpless, far worse than any other discontentment I could have imagined.
Love was meaningless now, hatred, like a daemon was taking control of my heart.
The world seemed to be shrinking now, giddiness taking over me, haze forming, and then darkness, nothing but the subtle beating of my heart.


I sat in a dreary waiting room with about 30 other girls. My ears were numb and my hands were sore from filling out the excessive paperwork. A video was playing; the man in it was saying something about abortion, I was trying my hardest not to listen to his booming voice.

When was finished filling the forms out, I handed it to the kind looking nurse, she had a round face and glanced at me with pity etched on her face.
“Thank you dear” she said in a soft voice. “Just take a seat over there”

I did as I was told, I sat in the waiting room, wishing I had never had sex, wishing I’d have told him to stop, and wishing against all odds that he would run in here any minute and tell me to keep our baby.

I was defying every fiber of my being; I was going against what was meant to be, destroying life, killing a human. I knew I should’ve just run out of there and never looked back. Run away so I wouldn’t have to deal with the memory that would plague me forever.
I stayed in the same room for almost 3 hours, sobbing, I wouldn’t let anyone come near, I wished to be engulfed in my sorrow alone , I wanted to be punished for the sin I was soon to commit, punished for being a coward. This crossroad I was at had captivated me into its essence. I needed to be held close, I wanted someone to tell me that the greatness that slept within me would rise above one day and the sorrow imbedded into my heart will be relinquished. I wished someone would have told me that my decision did not define me, that I still deserved to be loved.

After the long 3 hour wait, the kind looking nurse stepped out again , her bubbly face crowding the doorway.
“Angelina turner” she read off the forms
I got up reluctantly as the nurse took my arm.
“It’ll be alright dear” she whispered in my ear.
Truthfully, it only took about 15 minutes for the actual abortion; those 15 minutes would define all that I would do, for years to come. Everything I did somehow related in turn to my abortion and its aftermath.
The doctor came in with a somber look on his face. He propped me up on the chair, my legs spread apart.
“This might hurt a bit” he said with a small smile on his face
“It’s okay, I’m here to hold your hand dear.” The nurse was by my side again and she grasped my hand and squeezed it gently.
Before I knew it, tears were streaming down my face once more, images of my childhood flashed before my eyes.
I could now feel the long thin vacuum inside my body; the cool sensation caused my tears to swell. I was screaming on the top of my lungs, guilt, hurt, betrayal, and sadness took over me. A wheezing sound, pain, death, and then silence. The abortion would change me forever more, if only I could go back.
The End

Real Abortion Story
Sherry, age 35, Halifax, Nova Scotia
I was 19 years old. I had a perfect boyfriend and a perfect life or at least that's what I thought. I had just graduated from high school and I would be going to University in the fall. My boyfriend and I spent a great summer together and that August we celebrated our two year anniversary.
Two weeks before our anniversary I found out I was pregnant and I didn't tell anyone but my boyfriend Zack. He was very scared but he said it was my decision and he would stay with me no matter what choice I made. I really loved Zack. But after I found out I was pregnant I didn't want to be around him anymore. I felt like it was his fault.
So finally I came to the decision I would have an abortion. I didn't tell anyone. It was like I lived a secret life going to doctors appointments and not telling anyone where I was going. It was the worst thing I ever went through. So finally it was 9 weeks and I went to have an abortion. Zack came with me.
He stayed with me the whole time until I was wheeled down the hall in a wheelchair. I can still remember the look on Zack's face when I had to say goodbye to him. Then I woke up from surgery an hour later in recovery. I will never forget the smell in that room and how cold I was. To this day I cannot go into a hospital because the smell will take right back.
I realized it was all over and I could go back to my old life.
I was wrong.
Zack and I never got along afterwards - I couldn't look at him the same. I had to break up with him. I knew things would never be the same. And they aren't.
I live with regret every day of my life.
I wish I would have had that baby and given him or her a chance. I know I could have done the best I could and Zack I would still be together. There is not a day that goes by when I don't think about what I have done.
It will haunt me for the rest of my life.

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