Guidelines to Become a Successful Terrorist
By Maryam Akhtar

March 31st, 2008

NUMBER 1: Make sure that you have everything you need to support your belief.

NUMBER 2: You donít need to show how other peopleís views are stupid. Show them how your point of view is better.

NUMBER 3: Donít kill the people who killed the people who supported your views in revenge. Itís a sign of weakness. You can do better than that and come up with a stronger solution.

NUMBER 4: Never base your actions on assumptions. Itís not that hard to find evidence.

NUMBER 5: Be conscious and aware of your surroundings. Get your full nightís sleep. Your brain is the most important key; it needs rest.

NUMBER 6: Question anything you havenít previously thought of.

NUMBER 7: Donít steal. Itís another sign of weakness!

NUMBER 8: Donít take your frustration out on innocent people. Talk directly to the people whom you have a problem with.

NUMBER 9: Please donít TRY to fool others. They may be smarter then you think they are.

NUMBER 10: Take your time!

NUMBER 11: Donít decide on matters you have no authority over. Nobody needs your intermingling.

NUMBER 12: Just because you have a better car does not mean you are richer than those who donĎt. Youíve got to have a more powerful tool to show that youíre a great terrorist.

NUMBER 13: Please check the meaning of the word ďterroristĒ.

NUMBER 14: Donít let yourselves be fooled, you fools!

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